My current quest for self-improvement has shaken me up a bit, I'm not going to lie. I think this is a good thing, though. Unfortunately, I also seem to be hitting that rut where my love for instant gratification is well, not being gratified. Damn that. I can learn to be patient, je suppose. I have however come across some recent self-reflective gems that will hopefully inspire myself to keep charging ahead, full force, as it were, and maybe they will inspire some of you, or at least make you smile.
Recent self-realizations that are hilariously surprising and shockingly refreshing:
My sister is my best friend.
Whatever it is, it really probably isn't the end of the world and you really shouldn't waste your life sitting around wallowing in self-pity over it. It most likely isn't worth it.
Chocolate milk isn't that vile. Just pretend it's a melted Frosty from Wendy's.
I'm a lot more conservative than I'd like to let on, even to myself, and I think I might just have to be ok with that. This is not to say that I'm a Republican.
I will eventually get a job that isn't completely demoralizing.
If Julia Child can turn her life around at nearly 50, I can certainly do it now. What would Julia do?
I am capable of wearing high heels and they make me look skinnier, taller, and more professional.
McDonald's breakfast is actually NOT the solution to my problems. I wish I learned this while I was working at the frame shop.
I have a lot of people who love and care about me and are not disappointed in me, even though I am far too hard on myself.
"Be classy and act like a lady" is advice that can prevent a multitude of sins and potential disasters.
Just because I feel like I screwed up by not swimming in college, doesn't mean I can't start over now. I'm not that out of shape if I can place 69 out of 809 men and women in the swim part of a triathlon when the water is 58.5 degrees and I am decidedly wetsuitless.
I am a badass for not wearing a wetsuit.
Having a public tantrum is just not as satisfying at nearly 30 as it was at 3. A private one still feels pretty great, on occasion. Just don't be self-indulgent about it and don't punch a hole in the wall that can't be hidden by a piece of furniture or a well placed piece of art.
It is ok to love things just because they are beautiful.
It is paramount not to forget to put your shorts on when you insist on riding your bike in skirts.
When in doubt, and all else fails, refer to "The Little Engine That Could". It will never steer you wrong. Just ask my dad.
In short, buck up, put on some pearls and big sunglasses, brush your teeth, and face the day with as much strength of character as you can muster. If that doesn't work, you can always down a Manhattan when you get home from work. Anything with cherry in it will solve all your problems.
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